at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
