you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
