Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
