a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
why do cheetos always look like penises
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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