Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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