We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
