Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
im on a boat
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