Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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