Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
