Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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