i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
