It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
