Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize