rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
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I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
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some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.