Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize