In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
