Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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