I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
