You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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