So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
