I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize