Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
