There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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