Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
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I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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