I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
