I cannot find my penis.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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