how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
