I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
