Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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