on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
