hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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