He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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