"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
