Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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