do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
