i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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