Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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