just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
