I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
