Buhtt sex?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
