Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
