A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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