so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
