saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize