K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am mentally ready for anal.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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