Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I had to cum in my sink.
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