so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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