guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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