you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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