Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
