My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
