I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
